And that sweet city with her dreaming spires,/ She needs not June for beauty's heightening

Hello, world. No, I’m not all that stressed as my previous post might have incorrectly suggested. I am not dead. Yet. I’m just under some stress; perfectly normal.

To those who like !nk and its irreverence, here’s a sneak preview of our next issue, the first issue of 2009; this is my contribution to the paper for this quarter. Oh by the way, !nk will be  on sale NEXT MONDAY, 2ND FEBRUARY 2009. Keep your change ready. 50 cents, as always.

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Welcome back, fellow ACSians. As members of this charming paper send all of its readers their warmest salutations (this privilege isn’t bestowed upon non-readers), it’s important that we also remind you of the dates that you might want to mark in an eye-catching manner on your mental/desktop/virtual calendars.

Besides the all-important Founder’s Day, on which ACSians far and wide commemorate the naissance of our school and the Origin of the ACSian Species, Yuánxiāo jié, the Fifteenth Day  of the Chinese new year, the locally-commemorated Total Defence Day, as well as the 42 Unbirthdays from today till we bid Term 1 a happy farewell, those given honourable mentions (in chronological order) below are seven dates and observances that deserve some remembering. Informative, nifty, and perhaps a little inane, the following guide will lend your events planning for Term 1 plenty of expediency.

Eve of Saint Valentin
Date: 13^th February 2009 (Week 6, Friday)

Oh là là, what luck! Ze eve of ze romantic occasion of Saint Valentin is incidentally, also Friday the 13^th. What a tragic coincidence, you must be thinking. But fear not, dear ACSians! Banish your paraskavedekatriaphobia once and for all, and dauntlessly plant your beacons of truth and light and love before your object(s) of adoration for Valentine’s Day this year.

Valentine’s Day in ACS involves the giving (and receiving) of fresh flowers, chocolates and of course, those singing telegrams. Here’s how they work: you place an order for a song dedication, which will be delivered to the target of your affection in the form of walking songbirds (i.e. ACS choristers). These extraordinary telegrams come highly recommended for people too embarrassed or too tone-deaf to present their renditions of Careless Whisper, Fever, Kissing a Fool and other clichéd favourites personally.

UEFA Champions League First Knockout Round
Date: 24^th, 25^th February 2009 (Week 8, Tuesday, Wednesday)

Fans of Π.Α.Ε. Παναθηναϊκός, be sure to check that your alarm clock is set for 2045hrs (CET) on the 25^th of February, as the 19-time champions of the Σούπερ Λίγκα Ελλάδα take on Villarreal in the 25000-seater Estadio el Madrigal! After eleven weeks of no Champions League football, the live telecasts of the first leg of the knockout round promise to bring the beautiful game to electrifying new heights. These knockout phases are notoriously capable of reducing strapping young men to rule-breaking, red card-warranting, referee-defying, expletive-hurling, tantrum-throwing creatures, as teams desperately compete to remain in contention for that glorious title of Champions of Europe, yet girls and guys alike crawl out of bed, fumble in the dark for the remote controls and glue their eyes to the television screens till post-match commentary is over.

Teachers, if you spot any ACSians sporting triple eyelids, extra-tousled hair with their spectacles and IB ties askew on the days following the live telecasts, you can guess what they’ve been up to. And nope, it’s not that IA or that overdue written commentary.

Square Root Day
Date: 3^rd March 2009 (Week 9, Tuesday)

You don’t need a GDC to know that the square root of 9 is 3. Throw a party and invite all your friends who take at least one Group 5 subject; the 3^rd of March 2009 is the third out of nine Square Root Days this century. The SAC stall holders might entertain your requests for square pratas, square wantons, and square donburi bowls.

International Women’s Day
Date: 8^th March 2009 (Week 9, Sunday)

Females nearing the end of their teens are often frustrated with being in an uncomfortable stage of physical, emotional and psychological development. Not girls, not yet women, this age promotes constant searches for an identity, an orientation, and for the Self.

Amongst the disorientation and vagueness of growing up, however, the felling of previously planted ideas encourages holier-than-thou attitudes, including the reversal of age-old platitudes. The commemoration of International Women’s Day is a fitting affair for the female ACSian.

Celebrate the privilege of being the smaller number in the ACS gender ratio. Celebrate the privilege of being the beneficiaries of the silky length of canary yellow fabric that is tucked snugly beneath our collars. Male ACSians, take this day as an excuse to venerate the ladies in your lives, and be living proofs that the resurrection of chivalry will occur in Anglo-Chinese School (Independent), thanks to the scholars, officers and gentlemen that you all actually are.

Last Day of Term 1
Date: 13^th March 2009 (Week 10, Friday)

Everyone deserves a thump on the back on this day: you know you have survived a full school term in 2009. A whole week known as the March “holidays” follows the end of Week 10, and ACSians can finally hit the sack books. This festive occasion ominously falls on the second Friday the 13^th this year; what can this possibly signify? Nevertheless, don’t let your unsupported superstitious beliefs smother your enthusiasm for thumping your friends and other random schoolmates lovingly with wild abandon.

This writer doubts that any of us read the fine print carefully enough before our signatures were casually inked on the dotted line when we made that life-altering Faustian bargain; we sold our souls, leisure time and holidays to The Baccalaureate. But while we all scramble to complete our homework, struggle to finish reading our Language A1 texts, amongst the other overdue EETOKIACAS-related tasks that have been the stuff of our nightmares this March “holidays”, other dates in that alleged “week of rest” deserve some taking note of.

St. Patrick’s Day
Date: 17^th March 2009 (March “Holidays”, Tuesday)

While Ireland is overwhelmed with the confetti of Shamrocks on this day, it is the name of this traditionally green-coloured holiday that will bring a sigh to the lips of a Year 6 ACSian. Tenderly nicknamed as Paddy, the protagonist of Roddy Doyle’s Booker Prize-winning bildungsroman shares the same first name as the saint that the 17^th of March is commemorated for. For those who are still stuck at page twenty-something of the novel, Ha Ha Ha certainly will not be a commonly-heard triplet of words on this day.

World Poetry Day
Date: 21^st March 2009 (March “Holidays”, Saturday)

This is no joke; 21^st of March 2009 would be the 10^th anniversary of the official UNESCO declaration of this massive celebratory event. World Poetry Day isn’t merely a celebration of literacy and linguistic beauty; the observation of this occasion is meant to unlock the poet within you.

Saturday of the March “holidays” appears to be a splendid time to work on that 4000-word essay that everyone seems to be talking about, yet when the document is staring at you from your laptop screen, you are unable to concentrate; you hear no voices of academia in your head, save the shrill, demented calling out from your inner poet.

You attempt to stifle the pitiful wailing, but the noise, rearing on the thunderclap about your ears, makes you bend double. In an ecstasy of fumbling, you reach out for a sheet of ruled paper. Words tumble out of the tip of your pen and flood the paper, like a barrel of apples you didn’t fill.

Your hands are clean. The rains have fallen twice and earth is deep. Poetry – something you would speak of with such high zest somewhere ages and ages hence.

Note: these dates are but a mere scattering of the complete range of events, occasions and observations that make Term 1 as hectic and dynamic as an ACSian’s life can get.