And that sweet city with her dreaming spires,/ She needs not June for beauty's heightening

2009’s second issue of !nk went on sale today. David called the !nk sales “the most important event of the day”, besides the 4th Student Council Investiture. Yes, “the most” – according to The Craw. Despite being robbed of a huge proportion of our potential buyers – the naive Year 2s and 3s, we managed to sell close to 500 copies of !nk – not bad, in my opinion.

For the benefit of those who haven’t got a copy of !nk, either because 1) you couldn’t afford to pay $0.50 for the 16-page “guide to being a big fish in a blue ocean”, 2) you believe looking over your friends’ shoulder reading !nk is a better option than owning a copy, 3) tu dépenses ton argent avec parcimonie, here’s one of the two articles I wrote for this issue.

(This appeared as Part II of a collaborative article about that award-thing. Part I described the anarchical calamity the school was in prior to embarking on that award-thing; Part II describes the schools, er, splendid outcome after undergoing some major revamp because of that award-thing. I mean every word I say.)

To buy, or not to buy, that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stings and sorrows of outrageous remorse
Or to take arms against an ocean of customers
And by disbursing first oust them.

O, reason not the need! Our newspapers are never superfluous. Sixteen pages of words and photographs that radiate ACSian incredibility and incredulity – of which 12.5% is staring at you right now, that are the product of 409385084 hours of labour of our dedicated members under the aquiline nose of The Chief Editor.

Paired with an arresting variation of orange – #FFA000, to be specific, black ink on newsprint has never looked, felt and smelt so sexy. Monochrome printing on kitchen towels might just be the solution to the ridiculous debts we incur but the drive to achieve customer satisfaction constantly drives us up the ladder of excellence. Losing sight of the cushy familiarity of the shore and venturing into faraway waters is our forte – and our secret.

Such forays into the unknown define our route towards that timeless brand of quality that is synonymous with our newspaper. Draining it may be on our resolve and energy supplies, probing into the unfamiliar always proves to be a worthwhile endeavour. Rivals? What rivals? As we walk in a lightly scented cloud of gorgeousness on the roads less never taken, around us we smell no competition – and we are overcome with a terrific feeling of exclusivity.

O, that way conceit and condescension lies, let us shun that; no more of that.

But wait – surely it cannot be entirely a lie? After all, wherefore arises smoke without fire?

Let us discuss the truths of our merit. ACSians, as you must have read from our W!nkipedia article last issue, are unfortunate victims of uninformed stereotyping: pompousness, excessive riches, vanity and unbridled social activity are too frequently associated with this organisation. Wildly inaccurate judgments such as these, thankfully, don’t stop us from pushing towards being Intellectually Blessed yet Diplomatically Polished.

Balancing our expenditures in the intellectual department is an intricate matter. ACSians are uniquely multi-faceted, multi-talented, multi-lingual, and not to mention multi-coloured multi-taskers. The fact that we have six gruelling subjects to handle – plus that thing (EE) and that thing (TOK) and that other thing (CAS) – already sets us apart from the ill-fated others pursuing their pre-university education at Most Other Establishments. Yes, the Baccalaureate certainly throws us into the blue ocean.

This writer is pleased to note that being thrown into a vast, borderless body of water does not alarm ACSians. While treading water might be a commonly cited hassle for other hydrophobic inhabitants of this planet, ACSians – true to our All Can Swim reputation, are at home with the molecules of hydrogen, oxygen, sodium chloride, and even the occasional triuranium octaoxide bobbing about. In the academic arena, World Scholars’ Cup, Odyssey of the Mind and other undertakings plaster our calendars. In recent campaigns, ACSians went, saw, and conquered the very last of their foreign opponents. Indeed, we are not mere Academicians or Geeks, but also citizens of the world. Going global is an unshakeable habit of ours.

“WOW!”, many cry, impressed. But wait – what light through yonder Window(s on the World) breaks? Why, it is the Select Quorum of Achievers of the Baccalaureate that never fails to meet every criterion on the list of hundreds, the fulfilment of which qualifies one as A Charitable Scholar. Spreading our infectious goodwill, we annually venture across the blue oceans/seas/ponds of the region, in a hope that we may shake the superflux to those who hold onto our helping hands with a desperate grip. Such are the stellar results of benefiting from the holistic schooling of ACS.

ACS has fortified our varied upbringings by instilling in us a compassion and respect for all who populate the Earth (and perhaps even beyond), from the wealthiest of kings, knights and noble masters, to the basest beggars and poor, naked wretches. Going beyond preaching for an hour each week during pastoral care sessions, ACS stresses the importance of innovative instruction. Sivilisation, eh? We take that seriously, more than word can wield the m–

So what does our fair and fine readership reckon – do we deserve our reputation or do we not? This writer dares avouch that (more) certifications of our irrefutable quality are in order.

We are admittedly Still Quite Authentic in our reflections – what should we need of extravagant hyperboles to justify our praiseworthiness? We really try our best to remain our usual humble selves but our exceedingly, preposterously, astronomically high levels of success warrant some flagrant honesty. The pursuit of true excellence never did run smooth, and though the temptation to boast may strike us every so often, we remain, aye, every inch a modest company engaging in modest business.